A Love Essay

What is love? What is a relationship? What is the beginning of care? What is care? These are the questions that must be answered about love and relationships. Where do we go to make love? Afterwards, how do we stay I love. Is lovemaking necessary? Is love boring? Is it exciting? These are a few questions that make up the thousands that one must deal with when writing, thinking and indulging in the art of love. That is if it, indeed, is an art.

What is love. It is as mouth watering as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It is as succulent and warm as a basket of fried chicken. Yes, it is both sweet and fattening. Many feel it is the reason people should stay away from it. However, we know that every savory morsel has its drawbacks. However, humanity cannot resist it. Love is like this; it is irresistible. People can never have enough. It’s tasty. Every morsel of it goes down one’s throat with pleasure. Like a slice of chocolate cake, it melts in your mouth. One looks into the eyes of one’s love and sees and experiences the same feeling one has for a hunk of watermelon. The juicy pleasures waters one’s mouth. The bright colors of the fruit exude passion.

It is the same way with a relationship. The main difference is duration. Just how long does a good feeling last. A one-night stand is never as strong as two lovers who married and had five children. There is strength and depth in a relationship that builds over time. People build slowly. They start off holding hands while walking down the street. They look each other in the eyes. They see precious stones and lapis lazuli in the smile of their lover. The sweetness of the rose is in air and in the softness of their touch. They kiss. They learn from each other. They learn how to take pain from each other. I am not speaking of senseless violence. I am speaking of the struggle that comes from trying to cope with the countless economic, political and social perils of life. The raising of children; the paying of rent and mortgage, the day to day struggle to fill the cupboard with groceries. These are the measures of love. These are rulers, calculators and weights for the tenacity of love.   Americans are lucky, they have not had to endure the most trying measure of love. Except for the Revolutionary War; the Civil War and the bombing of Pearl Harbor, they have not been threatened by the ball and shot.  The test for these is time and duration. How long does one wait after the separation. How long does one search after the bombing. Do you stay together after your house has been fire-bombed? One must, for sake of the children, stay together. Just the same one must know when to leave. Domestic violence marks the end of the relationship and can in many respects be more devastating than a war. Women should not have to seek out safe houses. Love involves care and education. People must learn how to love.

People must care. Care is the essential ingredient to love. Feeding and clothing the children and one’s mate is a way of showing care. It is the way to show care. One must first save one’s family. Kindness towards other begins at home. Humanity begins at home. It is there we learn not to discriminate. It is there racism and the idea of racism must be defeated. Domestic violence, incest and other evils arise when there is no care. People must seek more than sexual gratification. While I believe that this is a very important aspect of any relationship it is too often misused. People use it to establish dominance instead of using it as way to nurture and build softness in a relationship.  Sexual assault has no place in love. Brutality and physical injury are examples of the lack of care. We have seen the effects of sexual transmitted diseases on the freedom of love. One cannot have and enjoy substantive human rights without understanding the importance of love as a voluntary act.

Love and lovemaking are never boring. The desire of a human being for another is a beautiful act. It is act of the greatest expression. The warmth two individuals have for one another, whether they are same sex or opposite sex is humanity at its best. The problem most have, in this ascent into the highest level of human expression, is the development of a sincere feeling towards one another. Perhaps it is here where we need to look at the power of intimacy and privacy as the two greatest pillars of this most human act. Perhaps the best place to know is a place where both can have. By having each will possess some intimate part of the other.

Love does not stop at lovemaking. We must never forget about agape love. One cannot have true eros love without agape. In fact, it is my opinion that agape love is love. One must love this earth and all that is in it. To understand love, one must move beyond the love of one’s fellow human being. One must have and possess a love of life for the planet and every living creature and entity upon it.